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Old 09-18-2011   #1 (permalink)
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Default In love with someone who has a girlfriend

I met this guy online who is perfect for me: he's nice, funny, smart, and caring. We relate to each other really well and have great chemistry. The more I get to know him, the more I fall for him. I don't think there's one quality in him that I don't like. The only problem is that he has a girlfriend. His girlfriend (she's just an online gf, they don't know each other irl) seems a lot like me and the type of person I would want to friends with if she wasn't in a "wii-lationship" with this guy. I'm not going to try to break them up or anything, but I'm not going to move on either. I'm thinking of just staying friends for now and waiting until they break up. Do you have any advice that would help me get closer to him, or anything that I could do to get him to see me as more than just a friend?

(note: I'm staying anonymous because I don't want to draw attention to myself. I've also tried my best to word this paragraph differently so no one can find out who wrote it)
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Old 09-18-2011   #2 (permalink)
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First off, I thought the 'wii-lationship' word-play was adorable. Just saying.
I think the only ideal conclusion is to wait and see how things play out with them. Don't try to split them up or anything, because all that'll accomplish is getting them both annoyed with you and possibly ruining your chances with him forever. Try to meet new guys and get out there, there's always another one out there. I wish you the best of luck with this
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Old 09-18-2011   #3 (permalink)
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Well,to be honest that's a tough situation.You said that you don't want to create problems to his "wii-lationship",but you ask for advice in order to get closer to the boy you like (i don't use the word "love" because it's something more serious than the feelings you have for someone through a computer,in my opinion).
If he is in love and happy with the girl he has chosen,i don't think that there are much you can do.
The only advice i could give is that if you want to continue your communication with him just try to be tactful about his relationship with the girl during your conversations.Don't make him understand that you have feelings for him,since he's not single.
On the other hand,if you feel that it's impossible to see him differently as time goes by and you want to tell him about your feelings then keep in mind that it's a risk,because there are possibilities that the answer you'll get won't be the one you wait to hear.And in cases like yours it may be possible to loose not only a "future lover" but a friend,as well.

Do you live in the same country?Are there possibilities to meet him someday or it is just an internet communication that you have?How long do you know each other?Has he ever shown to you signs that he's interested in having an affair with you?

P.S.=Sorry in case i'm asking too much information,but i think that you should give a more clear picture about it.

Last edited by OcarinaBoy; 09-19-2011 at 05:30 PM.
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Old 09-18-2011   #4 (permalink)
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QUOTE:
Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
I met this guy online who is perfect for me: he's nice, funny, smart, and caring. We relate to each other really well and have great chemistry. The more I get to know him, the more I fall for him. I don't think there's one quality in him that I don't like. The only problem is that he has a girlfriend. His girlfriend (she's just an online gf, they don't know each other irl) seems a lot like me and the type of person I would want to friends with if she wasn't in a "wii-lationship" with this guy. I'm not going to try to break them up or anything, but I'm not going to move on either. I'm thinking of just staying friends for now and waiting until they break up. Do you have any advice that would help me get closer to him, or anything that I could do to get him to see me as more than just a friend?

(note: I'm staying anonymous because I don't want to draw attention to myself. I've also tried my best to word this paragraph differently so no one can find out who wrote it)
You have to keep in mind that their relationship being online and all is still a relationship. A relationship in which emotions are shared between two individuals. The only mature thing that you can do is stay away from them and find someone else that will have feelings for you in return. Staying fixated on a person who may be happy, isn't something healthy to do.

My advice is simple worded and kind. The best I can give to you. It's not nice to sit by and wait for them to "break" up. What if they don't break up at all? You'd be giving yourself hopes and that being done so; you could get hurt. I wouldn't want that to happen to you. Go find someone deemed of your emotions. I hope this helps out.
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Old 09-19-2011   #5 (permalink)
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Ahh yes, feels like the days I realized I had 'chemistry' with Chey. How long have you met this male? If it's recently I would suggest for now having a few conversations with him. Get to see more about him before you make a move, it's all about how you are positioned in his eyes. The idea of waiting for them to breakup is a fair choice but as the person above said, you could miss out on the interesting people you could stumble to. My suggestion would be get to know him more for like a few weeks or a month or two, afterwards if he doesn't look like the person you thought he was look for another person you think you share interests with. If he was the guy you thought he was, I would say try to see if he has major problems with his partner and try to get something out of that. Hope it turns out good.
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Old 09-19-2011   #6 (permalink)
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If you met him online do you know him irl? I wouldn't try to ruin their "wii-lationship" as you say just first i think you should try to become friends with the girlfriend then become closer to the guy it may work out better for you that way cause the guy may become a little closer to you knowing your friends with his girlfriend. But until you find out he is single again iwouldn't move forward to far with this. Hope this helps
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Old 09-19-2011   #7 (permalink)
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My two cents:

Online relationships are the dumbest thing I've ever seen.

Either break them up (i.e. well you can have me and I'm a REAL girl) or shrug him off as someone who can't take love seriously. Your choice. Waiting will get you nowhere.
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Old 09-19-2011   #8 (permalink)
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Ahh yes, I can completely relate to this story, and still can relate to this story. Relationships in general have always been tricky and always are tricky, but this is one of the most interesting situations. Basically as many other people have said, I'd suggest to wait it out. Don't try to make them break up, because then both people who were in the relationship will be sad, or possibly even vengeful. For these types of things, it is just best to wait it out, and see what happens.

I hope everything works out for you! ^-^
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Old 09-19-2011   #9 (permalink)
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Aw. I actually have a girlfriend on here. I've been with her for a year and I am really happy. :) But what i would do if i was you is wait. Just wait to see what happens with them.
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Old 09-25-2011   #10 (permalink)
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Maybe you should tell him how you feel. Who knows he may feel the same for you but doesn't want his online GF to know. Good luck :)
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