Warning! Cursing down there, if you are 15 or younger, or are cursing-sensible, you shouldn't keep reading


Mario Kart Wii is a great game, so good, that it got many people addicted to it, including myself. But, on the other hand, there are so many things that I don't understand how the ****** the programmers thought it was a good idea to have on the game. Here is the top 10 things that should be considered for improvement for the next Mario Kart game.




TEN! (10): 3rd Lap of Mario Raceway 64, last item boxes, you're in 9th place out of 12, ready for some golden shroom action, and what do you get?? A fu**ing blooper!! a blooper!! take this sh***y item off, please!! (if not, at least make it cover the whole god d**m screen, not just 1 square inch of it where it does nothing!)

NEUF!! (9): You challenge your friend on a 1 vs 1 to prove him you're better than him now. 3rd lap again, you're five seconds ahead of him, ready to mock him on the finish line and... hit by a Blue fu***ng Shell! it's a freakin' 1 vs 1 for the love of God!! And then, if it's not enough, he passes you and on your last chance to catch up... a Thunder fu***ng Cloud!! I really want to know the name of the genius who thought that these two items were such a brilliant idea for a 1 vs 1...

OCHO!!! (8): Thunder Clouds!! Aaahhh!!!!!

SETE!!!! (7): If you're going to make Team VS Race for MKW, at least make it so that teams are actually balanced for once in our life times! Even better, let us choose the god d**n team we want to play on, it would make life so much easier for teams trying to make a Clan War... there's nothing lamer than having to calculate a bunch of scores after a simple 5 vs 5 Clan War when the game should do this for you... (Also allow us to switch friendly fire on and off).

SEX!!!!! (6): So a new Mario Kart Channel Tournament is on. I play it until I get a score that is deffenetly going to make it on contintental top 10. Turns out to be that my time is not even a fu**ing joke compared to the times I see up there!! At the end of each tourney, please have the option to download the freakin' champ's ghost to see how the boogger-eater (usually a Japanese) do to get such a ridiculously low time when I spent hours figuring out the winning strategy!

FEM!!!!!! (5): This one... it would be number one but I know it's pretty much impossible to stop, so I just made it number five... Hackers!! I fu**ing hate all kinds of hackers, from the ones that get 0.024 on Time Trial and don't allow you to watch the champ's ghost on a course, to the ones that make you lose 500 VR points in a single race because they decided to stay all race hitting you with a star while the rest of the noobs completed the race (Mr. Bean, I hate you!). They really are ruining this game...

QUATRO!!!!!!! (4): Courses that are 1:45 long or less are just stupid. You have to wait like 3 minutes from race to race and then you have to play a 1-minute-long course where you get item raped 55 seconds of it and don't even have a chance to catch up. Lame!

TRI!!!!!!!! (3): If you are going to leave ****** items like Thunder Cloud, Blooper, or Lighting (the last one ruined the fun of Clan Wars), at least give us the d**n option to turn them off on a WiFi Room, I don't think for you programmers this is such a difficult task to accomplish!

TWEE!!!!!!!!! (2): Sometimes I get so item raped on a room on the last lap by the same guy, that when the race is over, all I want to do is tell that guy how much I ******ing hate him, and all I can say to him is: "Grrr... Darn it!". If you are not going to let us chat online and you're going to limit us with a few dumb messages, at least have some that are actually worth saying! How about: "Owned!", "That was bull******!", "I f**ing hate Thunder Clouds!", "Suck my...", "I can actually think of 100-things-to-improve for next Mario Kart game!", etc...

EME!!!!!!!!!! (1): Us addicts need more than 32 courses!! I probably know every pixel of every fu**ing course by now! Please, for next Mario Kart game, have the feature of downloading new tracks, one every month would be awsome! I am sick of the same stupid 32 tracks (16 of which I had already played a lot on another console (N64, GBA, GCN, SNES...)) and it would make this game run forever!!

If you think I missed one, I am willing to make changes if I think it's worth it, and yes, I am hoping that someone from the Nintendo Staff reads this post and is willing to do something about it, and yes, you are a noob.


Almost Top 10:

30 friends limit is the biggest crap I have ever seen, I have to keep deleting people in order to add new friends. Does Nintendo think that we are all lonely losers who can't find 30 MKW friends in the world? is that what Nintendo thinks of us? I'll delete Wheater Channel and other ****** channels I have if the problem is that there's not enough room on our Wii's...

There's nothing more frustrating than being on a pro lounge with all 12 people with 9800+ and having to race on 100cc... It's actually a miracle that they didn't put 50cc for WiFi... We should be able to choose or vote if we want 100cc or 150cc or whatever we want, and not have the game choose for you (Thanks DarkLouis for idea).

This game greatest innovation was the wii wheel... yet most people, and like 99% of pros use GCN controllers... FAIL. If you are gonna make wii wheel so much harder to use than a regular controller, at least give these brave people (wii wheel users) their own Top 10 on Time Trialing charts! Same for Kart users (Thanks Ginge for idea).

I think a Country Top 10 would also be awsome (this is for people from countries where MKW isn't as popular as in the USA like myself) and I'm sure Europeans would like this too.

In some way I liked the idea that different characters have different stat points, but if you were going to do this, at least make the da** characters balanced, and if you think they already are, then why the fu** am I seeing 8 Funky Kong's and 4 Daisy´s in a 12 player race, every single time I play!? Why is this game called Mario Kart? It's more than clear that it should be called Funky Bike. (Thanks Mario and Sonic Guy)

Since most tracks are insanely short, how about atleast having to do more laps? or even better, a room Host should be given the option to choose number of laps on tracks, races are too short. I would love to play a 15-min-race time to time (luck wouldn´t be such a great factor, and I would actually be racing a lot instead of waiting so much in between races...). (Thanks Mario an Sonic Guy for idea). Maybe have time limit too would sound interesting, like instead of having to complete laps, there should be a 5-min countdown or something and at the end whoever is the farthest wins... oh man, that actually sounds pretty awsome!

BATTLE... I actually find it fun but they did not do a satisfying work with battle on MKW:
- More vehicles to choose from, not just the lame standart kart and bike.
- More courses, there are only 5 or 6 new ones for a game that was going to be this popular...
- Having a free-for-all, basically no teams, you just go own by yourself since there´s nothing more frustrating than lossing 11-10 when you got 8 points for your team. (Thanks Kayahtic for idea)
- NO BLUE SHELL, SPECIALLY ON COIN RUNNERS!
- Where did the Bob-omb Blast from DD go? we want it back! (Thanks Sonic and Mario Guy)

Reserved.

gotta get rid of the thundercloud!!!

Rofl! Nice.

Thunder clouds do my nut! and blue shells.

Let me take the chance to say this..

THANK GOD the Team VS system is so messed up.

I imagined in the past how it would be if the Team VS allowed for us to choose teams. Do you all understand the element of strategy that is added by Nintendo's folley? I actually feel like there is some iota of skill in Mario Kart because of the friendly fire capability, and thank god because in just a regular Team VS, I think clan wars would be much more boring without that element of risk and necessary, skilled teamplay :<

I actually thought about this, but what I ment is a way to choose teams with friendly fire on or off, that would be awsome, I agree with you, CWs are funner with the risk of hitting your teamates

you might've just left out the one that frustrates alot of us (not me, saying that)
constant d/c's. and losing hundreds of points over it.
wheres the compensation

Nintendo should ban thunderclouds from online play.. the amount of times i've passed a TC on and it has come straight back to me has cost me too many races. Also there should be a 2 blue shell limit each race instead of 4

I think a good improvement would be to keep the blue shells, BUT, once a player has reached the last lap, they can no longer appear. Perhaps the same with some other drastically race-altering items as well.