A short-story by [aW]Sin

Table of Contents

Character Sheet
Chapter [1 - 1]
Chapter [1 - 2]
Chapter [1 - 3]

[Chapter 1 - 1]

I awoke like I always do this morning, stretching my arms high above my head and letting out a big yawn which could be heard from miles away...or so I liked to believe. My mother used to always come into my room with that mother's smile that could melt even the toughest of rocks, and try to tickle me. She sadly passed away of Tuberculosis two summers ago, leaving behind my father and I. It wasn't all that bad, I used to get by the early days telling myself she was in a better place watching out over me. Or so that was how we were taught in Church. I can honestly say I didn't know what to believe, I was still so young at the time, but when you cry so much, its like a river flowing down your face, you'll do anything to make the pain go away. Now my Father, was a strong man. He worked down at the docks building these magnificent vessels by hand. People around here used to call him "The Carpenter" down at the taverns and such. It was something about him I could say I was proud of, and what was even so great about it was, after he would finish a Ship, he would sometimes come home during supper and surprise me by asking me to name her. I reckon I got about 5 or so ships still at the dock that were named by me.

Today was a bit of an exciting day for me I must admit. Over the past couple of months I have been working my ass off down at the docks, proving to the men exactly how hard of a worker I was. I did this because it's always been my dream to sail on one of the fine vessels my father created, but they don't just take any scrappy young lad off the streets here. No, I had to put in over 300 hours of service, lifting heavy crates, loading and unloading the boats, sweeping off the decks, and some other hard manual labor. I was in good company though, working with some of the very fine men I had heard my father mention over dinner conversations. There was Captain Nate Shores, or Captain Shores from any crew member, he preferred. Then there was Old Man Barrows', he had been working at the docks for over 50 years now, and was the most respected man there. Every man who walked by would stop to have a few words with him, and then quickly get back to duty. Even some of the men would stop by the Tavern every once in awhile to buy the old man a drink or two. Some of the other respected men down at the dock were, Jack Winslow...some of the men had called him Jack the Earl for some reason, Mack "One-Eyed" Banner...from the stories I have heard about this guy, he is a mean cuss. He tore his own eye out from what they say, gone a bit mad if you ask me. And finally the last person, and the one I always kept my eye on, wasn't even a man, but a girl. I don't know how a girl could have such a natural attraction like she does, it was like her presence was known for miles. I however, always looked at her and never talked. I can't exactly say if it was lack of courage or not at this point, but we can go with that for right now.

She would only be down at the docks on Fridays, helping out with some of the Tavern workers, running drinks down to the men on the docks. Only to run back up again to get some other requested beverages or food, and run back down again. And what got me was, whether it was the ninety-degree Summer, or the forty-degree Winter, she would always be wearing a dress and some shoes I had never seen before on any woman. It was as if she didn't own a single tattered rag at all, which was extremely rare here in Gawston. Her hair was dark brown, and hung down past her shoulders. She always had it in a knot when working, and I used to spy on her after my night shift in the Tavern, watching her as she unraveled her hair in the mirror, as if letting loose a storm of beauty. She was shorter than me, which wasn't unusual as I was a pretty tall boy, but her shoes added an extra few inches to her height, and nobody would seem to notice. I even remember that distinct smell of hers, it was like a good poison, once you smelled it, it wouldn't matter what you were doing, you would follow the smell until you got where it took you....it almost smelled too good if you ask me.

Not many rich people resided in Gawston, they would come and visit every so often, but most of the time they were just passing right on through to Kale. Riding along on their hefty precious Stallions, wearing their leather outfits and top hats, always with a feather in them. That's how you knew if they were rich here, leather outfits and a top hat with a feather in it. But being a middle-class resident, raised in a poorer situation than you think, I will leave that here.


My story begins a few days later, when things got a bit more exciting around Gawston. When my father died, the house was left to me, and because he was such a respectable member of the town, his funeral was free, his debt was cleared, and a trust fund was made in my name, which included the house. My house was built of strong oak wood, with a cedar cut door, and had two windows on the front side. The door opened up into a nice walkway, which led you down a narrow hallway and had several doors on either side. If you didn't go down the hallway, you were standing in the study room, which is where our fireplace was. When father was alive, the fireplace was always spitting out flames, full of energy as if it was alive. He used to sit at his desk, drawing up new ship plans, smoking on the same cigar he did for the past 20 years. On the other side, past a door, was the kitchen and dining room. This was my mothers main area of the house as she was always in here baking treats for the guys down at the docks. The dining room was decorated to perfection, with a chandelier above the wooden table which lay in the center of the room. Four chairs sat all around the table, which had a window beside it to look out across the meadow. On one side of the window was a very old painting by my grandfather. It showed a small boy in an overgrown field, chasing a dog that looked twice the size of the boy. You could still see my grandfather's name in etched in the corner, even though it seemed every year to slowly fade away. On the other side, was a golden bowl, which had no montalistic value, but a sentimental one. My father received the bowl from his brother who had served in the War and died. Somehow, no matter how homely this house feels, it seems like death surrounds it.

So when I awoke this morning, I had a rather uppidy attitude about everything. I had just dreamed the night before about the girl at the docks. She came up to a table when I was sitting at, smiled at me, and then sat beside me. I remember clearly how good he conversated with each other, each smile and laugher leading to a better topic...why did the dream have to end?

There was a different smell in the house today that was rather unusual. It was like a mixture of something rotten and something sweet, which believe me, wasn't a good combination in this case. My stomach turned at the smell and I tried to remain calm by putting my nose in my shirt, but it didn't help that much. I had just barely made it to the window when I threw up outside. I had a rag I always carried in my back pocket, for when I sweat down at the docks, so I pulled that out and wiped away the mess around my mouth. Looking up, I noticed there were a couple figures far off in the meadow...and they were moving around quickly, as if playing. I normally wouldn't think hard on this, but I was bored and lonely, and so I decided to check it out for myself.

I walked back to the kitchen, putting up all my breakfast materials, and cleaned off the table before going back into my bedroom and changing into something to run around in. I sat on the bed, and flopped off my good shoes. Getting these messed up would get me into some big trouble. The only Shoemaker in town has been sick for the past month and nobody has heard any word of improvement yet. Even the only Doctor around for miles, who often is seen riding on horseback through the three towns around here, never had a good look on the matter. It seemed like every time we exchanged looks, someone I knew would die. So I felt it best to not look at him this time, as he trotted down the road heading off down the dirt path on his horse.

It was a nice day outside, the sun was up shining high above the trees. The plants and trees were happy about this as it looked like they were all stretching towards the heavens. The wind was swift and pure, making the meadow look as if it were dancing with every breeze. As I made my way down the dirt path, which was overshadowed by these huge rocks on either side, I noticed I could no longer see the figures in the meadows. At this thought I half expected to find myself turning around, but I decided it best to stick to the original plan, and continued forward. Not knowing where I would be going, or even if people were there. But ultimately I made up my mind...

...it was time to leave this place that has scarred my memories.

Character List

As of Chapter [1 - 3]
Important Characters

1) Jim ??? - The main character of the story. He is 16 years old and works down at the docks where his father used to build ships by hand. His parents are both dead and he lives on his own. He is often adventurous but loses his courage at times. He is also madly in love with Arica, the girl from the docks. Last name unknown for now.

2) Arica ??? - She is the girl who works at the docks every Friday running food and beer down to the workers. She is 15 years old and lives with her mother in town. Her father passed away in a hunting accident several years ago, but she doesn't reveal this til later on. She has a secret admiration to Jim, but doesn't show it as easily as Jim does. Last name is unknown.

Characters Mentioned

1) Captain Nate Shores - Mentioned in Chapter [1 - 1] by Jim. Captain Shores was talked about down at the docks. He runs a couple of vessels and often voyages out to sea with his crew. Be prepared to hear of this man again later on.

2) Old Man Barrows - Jim describes this old timer as the most respected man down at the docks. He has been working there for over 50 years and every man respects him. However he doesn't have as much jump to his step as he did in his youth, so he mostly sits there drinking beer and talking to other sailors about his journeys.

3) Jack Winslow - aka Jack the Earl. Not much is said about this character right now. He works at the docks and is a respected man is about as much info as you know about him right now. Be prepared for that to change though.

4) Mack "One-Eyed" Banner - A crazy fellow with one eye who works at the docks. The story goes he ripped his own eye out for some reason and has been called crazy ever since. He is a trusted crew member of Captain Shores.

5) Shoemaker ??? - There is only 1 in Gawston and he is away. His name is unknown right now.

6) Doctor ??? - There is only 1 in Gawston, which is common in smaller towns. His name is unknown right now, and he is often seen riding his horse down the trail from town to town.
[More to Come]

Thank you :)

Working on Chapter 1 - 2 which will get into the story more instead of the backdrop. Should be up within the next couple of hours.

Nice story. I'm enjoying it a lot. It is well-written, but I have a couple words of advice for you to improve your writing.

First, try to use less commas. I use them almost in every sentence, as do you. Really, that's not the proper way to write. Try reducing the amount of commas you use, and especially don't use them for comma splices.

The second thing is just a minor issue. I noticed a few mispellings in there. When you write the next chapter, try checking closely for any punctuation, captilization, and spelling errors.

But besides that, you're good! Nice piece of work! I look forward to the next addition to it.

Great story. Have you ever considered being an Author? I think that if you push yourself, you'll be famous along with the past Authors. :] Can't wait to read the next chapter. Keep up the great work!

I am actually in the process of writing a novel. My mother is a journalist and she also writes in the newspaper. She wrote a few novels that got published.

I use commas where the need to be used. My grammar is good, there are a few mistyped words I over looked that will be fixed soon. As for the commas, there might be a few unnecessary ones in there, but for the most part they are used right.

Wow, that's pretty interesting. Good luck with your writing.

Very nice. It's a pleasure to see such an established first chapter like this. It's a nice length. I'm glad it's not too short. It's good to see that are several great writers on this forum. I love it. I don't know why I didn't get into this part of the site eariler.

Pretty good, Keep going!