One
I opened my eyes and found I wasn't at home anymore. I saw an old man and seemed to be cooking soup or something. I asked "Whatcha cooking?"
"You woke up? Good, it's about time. I'm going to cook you."
Then I realised that the man was going to have me for dinner, so I kicked him in the shin and started to run away. The old man blew a trumpet and civilians with lasers started firing at me. However, I fell into this trap and was in an underground place. Rosalina was tied in a rope, but I felt that Rosalina was overrated, so I started walking off. But then I felt guilty of walking off on a girl that needs help, so I turned around and untied the rope. Rosalina said "Thank you."
"No problem I guess, but I gotta get going."
"Don't. It's too dangerous up ahead."
"What? How?"
"Many boys tried to rape me, but now they're trying to decide who's first."
"Then you wait here. I'll go ahead. You're not a sex slave. I'll take out these fanboys once in for all."
So I walked on and heard Rosalina say "Thanks", but just basically ignored it.
I soon saw an army of boys arguing with each other. I interrupted and asked "What's going on bro?"
Someone answered "We're trying to decide who has sex with Rosalina first".
"Rosalina?? She's gross, but you can't do that!"
I kicked the boy in the shin and started to run off. Some boys started chasing me, but I got away and left a cave and was outside. But then I realised that I couldn't continue my adventure. Rosalina was in serious danger, but I myself wouldn't be able to take out all 3'655 people there. I started to imagine in my head what would happen to Rosalina, but it was dreadful, so I pretended I never knew and walked on. Luigi jumped out of nowhere and said "Dude, I need your help."
"What is it?"
"Rosalina's missing and is around here somewhere. Will you help us find her?"
I didn't know what to answer, but then I decided "No, I'm really busy."
"Really busy doing what?"
Luigi's face started to turn angry and Mario jumped out of nowhere holding a baseball bat. I said "I mean, yes! I'll help."
However, I fell down another trap and fell down to a waterfall.
I woke up in a hospital bed and Dr. Hibbert was looking at me and said "Looks like you need to be more careful."
"What happened?"
"You were in a coma for 2 weeks!"
"2 weeks?! You gotta be kidding me!"
However, I woke up again and was in the cave with the many men. It seemed to be that I fainted. But I quickly got up off the ground when I saw someone walking over to Rosalina who was naked. I fainted again.
"London? Is this London?"
"I'm afraid not young man. You have a long way to go."
"How much longer?"
"Once you stop playing Super Mario Galaxy all day, you won't feel too lazy to continue your adventure."
I woke up and was in London. But then I realised it was a lucid dream, so I could control it. I started to fly to Kate's house, but unexpectedly woke up.
I was in a hospital bed. Dr Hibbert was looking at me and said "I want your blood."
Dr Hibbert turned into a vampire, but I shouted "No!", and woke up again.
I was in Japan. Then I yelled "What is going on here?! Am I even awake this time??"
I woke up again and was in a forest with Wario. However, Wario started to jump on jungle ropes and started to swing everywhere. He was screaming like a monkey, but I woke up again.
This time, I was certain I was awake. I saw an old man cooking soup. Then it was time I started my adventure.

Very good 8.5/10

I didn't expect that.

good or bad cause that's like something out of my dreams only mine are stupider and someone always dies

Nd hey I just got my blue shell rank morning

No, what I meant was thanks. This is meant to be one of those crazy kind stories and I thank you for giving me a good rating. "I didn't expect that."

Hah, nice, I liked it. The randomness was kewl.

Two
"Whatcha cooking, old man?", I asked.
"You", he replied.
I kicked him in the shin and started to run off. "What the? What are you doing here?"
"I'm sorry dude, but I'll need to kill you. It's for the sake of my girlfriend."
"Girlfriend? Yeah right! Even I look way better than you!"
"Dude, I'm a singer of a band! What are you? A nobody!"
"You're just stupid. Oh, and I'm an expert gamer, so I'm not a nobody."
"All right, that's it! You have been bothering my life too much! I'm going to have to kill you."
"What if I kill you first, loser?"
"Alright, let's fight to the death. Right here, right now."
"Oh, before we fight, may I just say something?"
"Uh, what is it?"
"Your girlfriend is the hottest babe I ever came across!"
"Ugh! Die!"
The dude charged at me with a sword, but I grabbed his wrist and whacked him to the ground. I grabbed his sword which he dropped and had it right at his neck.
"P-please don't kill me! Ok, you win!"
"Does that mean I win your girlfriend?"
"What? No!"
"Ahem, then you'll just be dying then."
"Ok, ok! You can have her!"
The dude started to cry and said "Just.... please take care of her, ok?"
"Eh, why wouldn't I? She completes my life! Oh, and trust me. She's better off being with me. Kthnxbai!"
I threw the sword over the roof of a house in the neighborhood. I started to walk away, but then the dude grabbed me by the neck and had me stuck. Then he said "So, thought you could just win like that, now did you? Well, I don't think so."
"Let go of me now!"
"Yeah, as if."
Someone shot the dude and he fell to the ground. I looked behind and saw it was Rosalina. "Thanks for saving me!"
"No problem."
"By the way, why are you here in London?"
"The lumas are in hostage somewhere here. I need to find them."
"Well, good luck with that then."
Rosalina walked off. I looked down at the dude dead on the ground and said to myself "Wow, I feel sorry for this guy. However, I needed him dead to complete my mission."
I ran off so that I wasn't found with the dead dude. I was walking while looking at my map. I said to myself "So, I need to go somewhere called Harrow in London, eh? Well, this shouldn't take too long... I hope."
I was in the city of London and it seemed quite busy. I was looking around. But, I saw something in the sky. It appeared to be Bowser's doomship! It even flew down to where I was and Bowser walked out with a girl tied up. Bowser asked "You looking for this woman, Fintan?"
"No, that's Peach."
"Oops, wrong one."
Bowser walked back in his doomship with Peach. He then walked back out carrying another girl tied up.
"Is it this one?"
"Yes! Let go of her!"
"Aw, too bad! Looks like you'll have to get her off me!"
I started to chase Bowser, but he ran back in his doomship and flew off. I fell to my knees thinking of failure. Then I got hit in the back of my head to the ground. I looked up and saw it was the dude who wasn't dead after all. "You think you could shoot me!? Oh yeah, well, take this!"
He aimed his punch at me, but I rolled and dodged. I quickly got to my feet ready for a fight. People started to gather around and I heard repeatedly "Fight, fight, fight fight, fight!"
My head couldn't take it and I rolled in a ball on the ground. I tried to forget about everything, but everything was in my head. However, I got quite a punch from the dude in the head and seemed to have knocked me out.
"....Fintan? You there?"
"Huh? Is that you?"
"Depends who you mean by that."
"My girlfriend?"
"You don't have a girlfriend."
"I... will soon. Just watch me."
"Why? Do you love someone?"
"Yes, and I'm on a mission to go find her."
"Wow, that's funny! How's your progress?"
"Not sure. I don't even know where I am!"
"This is London."
"But everything is black. Did I die?"
"No."
"Then what is going on here?!"
"You'll see..."
I woke up and saw Dr. Hibbert looking at me. He laughed and said "Looks like you're quite lucky!"
"Depends what you mean by lucky. By the way, where am I?"
"This is Springfield General hospital."
"What?? But I was in London!"
"Actually, you thought you were in London. You were daydreaming, but you were really in Springfield."
"Then... who beat me up?"
He showed me a picture of the dude and it was the same guy.
"This man called Ryan Jarman did. He got a prison sentence for 5 years."
"Really? Wow. Can I go now? I really need to go to London now."
"I'm sorry Fintan, but I'm afraid you can't leave until tomorrow morning."
He walked out. My adventure ceased for a day, but I achieved something. The one I needed dead is now in prison.

Lol Bowser is a rapist

Three
It was night and I was in my hospital bed in the dark. "I'm sooo bored!"
Then this light flashed in the room and then the flash went. Then I saw the dude again. "I thought you were in prison!"
"Dude, I'm really sorry. I should not have beaten you up like that. Please forgive me."
"I'm still taking your girlfriend though."
"Ugh, fine then."
"Also, I need you to be dead or I can't complete my mission."
I took a gun out of my pocket and pointed it at the dude. I hesitated, then dropped the gun on my bed.
"Ha! You're even scared to kill someone!"
"No, I'm not!"
I quickly picked up my gun again and fired quickly multiple times. The dude was bleeding on the ground. I jumped out the window of the room. "Agh! Why was that not the 1st floor!"
I was about to hit the ground, but woke up lying on the ground in the middle of London. I stood up and started to search for a place called Harrow. I wasn't even too sure if Bowser kidnapped her in the first place. I was so confused. I walked in a bank. "GET ON THE GROUND NOW!!!"
I did. The bank was being robbed. I soon heard footsteps of people run in the bank and heard shooting. I heard someone shout "Save me Duffman!" and the person fell to the ground. I heard footsteps of people running out. I peeked and saw that the robbers were gone. I saw Homer Simpson on the ground dead. Then I realised that I was in Springfield.
I woke up then and was on Bowser's doomship. It was in the sky. I saw Bowser driving in the room. I ran over to Bowser and shouted "Where is she!?"
"She's dead."
"WHAT?? NO!!! You monster!"
"She isn't dead you fool. By the way, she's right behind you."
I looked behind me and saw Lily Allen. I told Bowser "That's not her!"
"Then who?"
"The one from London. London!"
"Oh. She's dead."
"No! It can't be!"
"She's alive. Ask someone called Ryan Jarman. He knows where she is."
"But he's in prison."
"Well then. Tough luck!"
"You know where she is, don't you?"
"...Yeah, I do."
"Where??"
"In London."
"Then drive this thing to London now!"
"That's what I'm doing anyway."
"Why?"
"There's this new babe that could make a great new princess when I take over the Mushroom Kingdom."
"But what about Peach?"
"I can have 2 princesses! In fact, 5. Because there's also Lily Allen, Rihanna and Rosalina. Oh wait! 6! Daisy. No wait! 7! King Boo's long lost wife. No wait! 8! Britney Spears! No wait! 9! My ex wife. No wait! 10! A luma."
"You gotta be kidding me!"
"Yeah, I was. Only 3 princesses. Princess Peach, princess Lily Allen and this third one I'm going after now."
"Who's the third one?"
"You'll see."
"What?"
"I said you'll see."
It appeared that I was all of a sudden deaf.
"Bowser! I think I'm deaf!"
"No jokes at the moment."
"I hope you're going to help me!"
"Kate Nash, here I come!"
I didn't know what Bowser was saying, so I sat down on a chair. Soon, the doomship landed and I looked out the window. It seemed to be London. Then Bowser said "-----(deaf)"
I followed Bowser outside. Bowser said "-----", and pushed me back into the doomship.
I took out my psp, but Lily Allen grabbed it and said "-----".
I was mad, but whatever. She soon gave it back to me. I turned the psp on and noticed that all the pictures were deleted. "You deleted all my pictures!!"
"-----"
"What? Ugh, I feel like crying."
"-----"
"I don't know what you're saying."
"----then you'll stop being dirty."
"What? Repeat that. I can seem to hear again."
"I deleted all your pictures for the sake of you and so that you stop being dirty."
"What? But I wasn't!"
"Yeah right."
"I'm being serious!"
Bowser ran in the doomship and had her tied up in a rope. Bowser closed the door and untied her. Bowser said "Alright! Let's go everyone! Now all we need to do is take over the Mushroom Kingdom! Oh, and win Peach of course. :p"
I said "Bowser, can I talk to you privately for a moment?"
Bowser stood up and walked out the room. "Well, come on Fintan!"
I walked out too. "What is it?"
"That girl you kidnapped from London. That happened to be my girl Bowser."
Bowser handed me a picture. I looked at it and was the O Rly owl. I folded the picture and put it in my pocket and said "Yes. So Bowser, I don't care what you do with Peach and Lily. Just let me have the other one, please?"
"Hm, I don't know. I'll have to think about it."
"Ok, but saying no will result in me killing you."
Bowser walked back in the driving room and I followed. Bowser said "Everyone! Fintan would like to say something."
"But I don't have-"
"Just do it!"
"Em..."