Chains Of Emotions [PG - 13] - Mario Kart Wii Forum - The Biggest Mario Kart Wii Community
PASSWORD
USERNAME

Chains Of Emotions [PG - 13]
 
Reply
UGUUUUUU :/

Old
Chains Of Emotions [PG - 13]
 
 
08-19-2008, 10:40 PM
  #1 (permalink)  
This one took me like an hour (a little less) to make, it's a one-shot out of an idea I had I thought it could work. I personally like it, I won't spoil it 'cause the feeling is better when you're surprised.


Chains Of Emotions


“Master.”

I said, calling out to Him. He turned his imperial throne around, a mighty, evil figure being drawn upon my eyes.

“She’s ready.”

He grumbled, as he slowly stood up.

The floor shook as Master’s heavy body was storming down the large stairs, the weight of his demented thoughts shaping his expression.

“You may all go.”

His low-pitched voice echoed throughout all the room. We looked at each others: My Koopa mate on the back of the group opened the exit door, as we started to leave the place.

“All, but you.”

As we heard those words, everyone stopped. No one wanted to look behind, no one wanted to know who was being called. We stared at each others in expectancy, but never looked behind. We knew what was going to happen, though, none of us wanted to witness the actual moment.

Suddenly, this cold, rough hand held my shell. An instant shiver spread throughout my whole body.

“You.”

Master said, as he turned me to face his tall, scary posture. Before I could notice, all my Koopa mates had left the room.

“I want someone to witness my first, grand moment of glory.”

“Y-Yes, Master.” I softly sighed in a shaky tone.

Master and I then turned around to face another figure. This one now; a gentle, beautiful, inspiring image, contrasting with the vicious chains holding her tight. It was the silhouette of a lady, dressed in a soft pink dress.

“Your beauty never ceases to amaze me, Princess.”

Master Bowser admired, as he took a glance at all the Princess’s body.

“Tell me Bowser, why do you want me? What have I done to you?” The Princess said, a desperate expression drawing her face.

“My dear Princess, you exist. I don’t want you, I need you: to exist.” Master grumbled in a soft way, smiling.

Tears fell from Princess Peach’s face.

“Bowser... I hate you!...” She yelled in sorrow.

I stepped back.
As she pronounced these words, Master roared. He roared from agony, a bullet of emotions shoot through his heart, he couldn’t take the scene anymore.

“My beautiful Princess, what have they done to you?! Your corrupted mind is wrecking such perfect silhouette, such perfect heart. I won’t let them do this to you anymore; you must know I’m right, even if it hurts. You deserve to know it! You, and me.”

Master pronounced, as he turned his face away, a hint of tears merging from his rough, aggressive eyes.

“What are you going to do with me Bowser?…” Peach asked, rhetorically, she knew something would happen to her.

“Princess, today, I will make you shine. I will free your heart from such cursed mind, right out of your chest. Together, we will make the perfect couple. Together, we will shine.”

As soon as he finished talking to the now terrified Princess, he drew his long, sharp claws, and pierced through Peach’s chest, atrociously tearing out her heart, setting it wild from the holding blood chains, the dull cage of her mind.

He raised the Princess’s heart to the ceiling with a triumphant posture.

“Together, you, and me.”

--------

You've witnessed my attempt to actually get into this fan fiction writting scheme (eventually, and no matter how many times you ignore me, I will xP).

Hope you enjoy it. ^.^
Last edited by Natbong00; 08-20-2008 at 11:20 AM.
 
Reply With Quote
There is a meaning for wings that cannot fly!
It's a precious memory of when you once flew in the sky.
Code Geass * AIR * Shakugan no Shana * H2O * Clannad
If a fragment of the future can be seen between closed hands...
Send a message via MSN to Alex31
Old
 
 
08-19-2008, 10:56 PM
  #2 (permalink)  
<3
I luv it,shame about the mario stuff but ohwell.
 
Reply With Quote
This is a world that has ended...

UGUUUUUU :/

Old
 
 
08-19-2008, 10:59 PM
  #3 (permalink)  
QUOTE:
Originally Posted by TidusFFX+Alex View Post
<3
I luv it,shame about the mario stuff but ohwell.
It seems like the only way you get noticed around these parts is either do a Role Playing thread (which isn't a piece of literature but a game, so shouldn't be allowed here), or Mario characters.

FFS, I have tried before with more abstract chars and look what happened, down the f***ing sewers.

I honestly don't care if people hate, or love, in fact I just want them to be honest and give some feedback. Because I want to improve and hopefully do more, but without comments, I can't go anywhere.

</rant

Anyways, thanks (and this was obviously not directed at you too).

Besides this story could live without the Mario names, it's just to entertain the masses.
 
Reply With Quote
There is a meaning for wings that cannot fly!
It's a precious memory of when you once flew in the sky.
Code Geass * AIR * Shakugan no Shana * H2O * Clannad
man man is offline
e-wrecked

Old
 
 
08-19-2008, 11:02 PM
  #4 (permalink)  
you're pretty good

it's far better than the sea of trash in this forum, but not the best i've read, of course

there are a few syntax and punctuation errors, but they don't affect readability

amazing for a one hour story
 
Reply With Quote
Spoiler
UGUUUUUU :/

Old
 
 
08-20-2008, 11:15 AM
  #5 (permalink)  
QUOTE:
Originally Posted by man View Post
you're pretty good

it's far better than the sea of trash in this forum, but not the best i've read, of course

there are a few syntax and punctuation errors, but they don't affect readability

amazing for a one hour story
Thanks, I took that into account and am correcting now the mistakes.
 
Reply With Quote
There is a meaning for wings that cannot fly!
It's a precious memory of when you once flew in the sky.
Code Geass * AIR * Shakugan no Shana * H2O * Clannad
If a fragment of the future can be seen between closed hands...
Send a message via MSN to Alex31
Old
 
 
08-20-2008, 11:17 AM
  #6 (permalink)  
Is left saying that people need to read this.
Its done by THE best writer on this forum,and you all ignore it.
Its wrong.Read it.
 
Reply With Quote
This is a world that has ended...

has got new games wii wario ware zack and wiki and mp8 and on ds starfox command

Friend Code: mkds:279316530855
Old
 
 
08-20-2008, 11:58 AM
  #7 (permalink)  
cool. is peach dead?
 
Reply With Quote
It's xcdjy dammit. X-C-D-J-Y!
Send a message via Yahoo to Nintendo and Coffee
Friend Code: MKWii: 0388-0079-4876
Old
 
 
08-20-2008, 12:03 PM
  #8 (permalink)  
Nice, very descriptive, and a wide range of vocabulary. Bowser seems somewhat demented in that chapter.

Great Job, i'll be reading! *Bookmarks page*
 
Reply With Quote
Laid Back...For Now.
Send a message via MSN to Bones-R-Dry
Friend Code: 4854-7851-1623
Old
 
 
08-20-2008, 12:29 PM
  #9 (permalink)  
O....M.....G . wow that ending went in a completely different direction than i though it would! Great story!

Keep em' Coming!
 
Reply With Quote
Spoiler

UGUUUUUU :/

Old
 
 
08-20-2008, 12:29 PM
  #10 (permalink)  
QUOTE:
Originally Posted by fire yoshi View Post
cool. is peach dead?
Yea, that's the point, and that's Bowser's solution for finally being accepted by Peach. He separates Peach's heart from her mind, which is what he really liked about her. He couldn't take more rejection from her, so he took the part he liked about Peach, and planned to live with it.

QUOTE:
Originally Posted by Nintendo and Coffee View Post
Nice, very descriptive, and a wide range of vocabulary. Bowser seems somewhat demented in that chapter.

Great Job, i'll be reading! *Bookmarks page*
Heh thanks, I thought it'd sound a little desperate on Bowser's side, that's what makes it worth reading imo.

This is just a one-shot so that's it for the whole story so I won't be adding anymore stuff =P. I may do other one-shots soon though.

EDIT:

QUOTE:
Originally Posted by Bones-R-Dry View Post
O....M.....G . wow that ending went in a completely different direction than i though it would! Great story!

Keep em' Coming!
Thanks so much mate, means a lot to me ^^
Last edited by Natbong00; 08-20-2008 at 12:33 PM.
 
Reply With Quote
There is a meaning for wings that cannot fly!
It's a precious memory of when you once flew in the sky.
Code Geass * AIR * Shakugan no Shana * H2O * Clannad
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
 
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On
Forum Jump