Let me just say this right off the bat, the case is solved so get off my back. Basically I had to write a 2 page minumum mystery for language arts and got a little overboard, I wrote about 8 1/3 pages in word. Please give me some feedback as this is my first 3+ page report I ever wrote. (I am only 13)

Part 1! (I had to make it 2 parts due to 10,000 char limit): Basic introction

The story takes place in the small town of Marburg, Vermont in 1989, with many woods and trees for a lumberjack to have a good profession. “If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, does it make a sound?” This age-old question could never be answered in this small town as Jim the lumberjack was always prowling the woods looking for nice trees to make his living off of. Everybody knew Jim in town because of its lack of population. It was a very tight-knit community of people who were all very friendly towards each other. There was one exception though; up on the hill in the old mansion on VJ drive is where the sinisterly evil Mr. Margi lived. Mr. Margi was never friendly towards anyone in town, as a matter of fact, he was quite mean. Most people stayed away from him, except Jim. Jim always wanted some of the trees from behind Mr. Margi’s mansion. This always caused quite some disagreement between the two. Mr. Margi used to be in the military so he had a good amount of skills and weapons at his disposal.
This particular day started out quite normally for Jim. He arose at 4:15 A.M. to get ready for his day of tree chopping. He took his morning shower, got dressed, ate his breakfast, then grabbed his axe and off to the woods he went. Around two hours after he arrived at the woods he was searching in the middle of his usual grounds, when suddenly he had the feeling that someone was watching him. He whipped around and saw nothing there except trees. He hastily turned back around and continued looking. Approximately fifteen minutes later he found a beautiful tree to chop down. As he started walking towards it his mind was telling him that it was a trap, but his lumberjack instinct told him to go get that tree. That one tree on its own would have filled his entire quota for the day and then some! He approached the tree and slowly drew back his axe…RASP! RASP! RASP! He heard rapid breathing as a knife was stuck into the back of his leg. Instinctively Jim turned around and released the full power of his swing onto his attacker; he hit him dead on, but the attacker easily lived. Jim got a glimpse of his attacker, but all he saw was a dark figure standing above him. Jim collapsed to the ground, all he could do is lay there and die. His attacker stood there looking down at him, within the minute Jim was dead.
Two hours later, Molly Gertrude was going on her daily jog through the woods. SPLAT! She stepped in the substance that was leaking from the axe Jim used to hit his attacker. AAHHHHH! THUD! She had let out a blood-curling scream and fell to the ground in shock.
“Oh my…oh my…oh my…Jim! NO!” Molly took a step towards Jim, and then bolted full speed back towards town. As she was running through the lush green forest her mind was going crazy. Who could do this to Jim? Who would do this to Jim? Why did I have to find him? I will never recover from this. As she neared town she started screaming, “Police! Police! Where is the police?!” She turned her head for a spit second to look for help. CRASH! Molly’s head met the wood door of the police station. Special Agent Quincy opened the door.
“What the heck is going on out here young lady?” Quincy asked.
Molly was stammering bad trying to describe the situation to Quincy, “Jim…woods…lumberjack…knife…axe…goop…dead…help…me. ” THUD! She collapsed to the floor gasping for air.
Quincy then started giving orders, “Get her some help! Chief Steve, you come with me.”
Hold on a second Quincy, “Molly, where did you find the body?” Steve asked.
“Middle woods, half mile in, south.” Molly replied desperately gasping.
After walking thirty minutes of walking south Chief of Police Steve and Special Agent Quincy found the body, exactly where Molly said it was. There was one thing missing, the tree Jim was trying to chop down this morning was gone. Steve did a quick examination and in a shocking voice proclaimed, “He’s…dead…”
Sarcastically Quincy replied, “No genius, he’s just taking a nap in the middle of the woods lying in a puddle of blood with a knife in his leg and the person hyperventilating in our police station freaked out over nothing. Of course he’s dead man; get it together before I knock you off this case.”
“Sorry, let’s find the C.O.D.” After another quick examination Steve announced, “It looks like it’s this stab wound in the back of his leg that did it.”
Quincy rolled his eyes and replied, “Wow Sherlock, you’re unstoppable today. That’s a little obvious for your standards Steve. One of your trainees could have figured that out blindfolded. Tell me Steve, would anybody in town do th…” Quincy stopped mid-word and slowly turned around.
“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.
Quincy replied, “Nothing it’s just, someone is watching me. I can feel it in my gut.” At that moment the trees in the direction in which Quincy was looking shook violently.
Trying to find a rational solution Steve exclaimed, “Wow! That’s some strong wind today!”
Unconvinced Quincy replied, “Yeah, wind. Let’s head back to town.”
After twenty minutes of walking Steve broke the silence with a question, “So, what were you going to ask me back there?”
Quincy replied, “Is there anyone in town who would do” he started turning around and slowly turned back continuing his question, “this to Jim?”
Steve paused for a second pondering the question for a second before replying, “Well, there is one person who lives up on VJ drive, Mr. Margi’s his name.”
“Does Mari have any motive for this crime?” Quincy asked.
“Well,” Steve started, “Jim was always trying to chop down some of Margi’s trees behind his mansion. He was always lurking back there but Margi always found him before he could chop the tree down. Margi even threatened Jim’s life for trying to chop down his prized tree. Margi has a big forest behind his huge mansion and whenever Jim snuck in Margi always found him before he could dig his axe into one of his trees. It’s almost like Margi was following Jim through the woods.”
Quincy interrupted him, “Steve, you know that our job is to get the facts and solve crimes, not make irrational assumptions about the suspects without solid visible evidence.”
Steve was embarrassed, “Sorry Quincy, I guess I just got a little wrapped up in the case. I might also add that Margi was a military officer and has some ties to weapons.”
“Interesting,” Quincy stated, “Let’s go pay this Mr. Margi a visit.”

See the second post for part 2!

Part 2! The exciting (and somewhat confusing) conclusion!


After another twenty minutes of walking passed by before the reached VJ drive. Most of them were quiet and tense. Everybody in town was gathered on Main Street and hung their heads in silence and honor for the brave lumberjack. Quincy and Steve approached the old mansion. Quincy gave Steve a nod and Steve approached the door. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Steve said, “Mr. Margi, it’s only me, Steve. I just want to talk to you. You are not in trouble.” Ten second of silence went by and then Quincy stepped in. BOOM! Quincy kicked the door down and drew his gun.
Quincy yelled in a hush tone, “Move! Move! Move!” The duo barreled through the house searching everything on the first floor, Margi was nowhere to be seen.
Steve was furious, “Damn! He got away!”
Quincy replied, “SHUSH! Listen.”
CRASH! The sound was heard from the basement and the two ran down there and caught Margi making an attempted escape through the basement. Steve trucked downstairs and tackled Margi.
Margi in defense yelled, “I didn’t do anything!”
“Yeah,” Steve asked, “Then why were you running?”
Quincy and Steve took him downtown for questioning.
“Where were you at 6:30 this morning Margi?” Steve asked.
Margi replied, “I was at the hospital with my mother, she was sick. Now what did I do wrong? I know my rights.”
Steve replied, “Don’t you usually take a walk in the woods at about that time every morning Margi?”
Margi replied, “Yes but my mother was sick, now what is going on!”
Steve yelled in his face, “You know what you did, you murdered Jim!”
Margi was shocked, “Jim…he’s…dead?”
“Don’t play dumb with me Margi, you and I both know that you were sick and tired of Jim trying to chop down your precious trees and wanted to put a stop to it once and for all!” Steve yelled.
Margi was half yelling half crying, “You’re lying!”
Quincy heard a raspy voice talk to him, “Margi is telling the truth, stop your partner before Margi goes insane.”
Margi got an evil glare in his eye and was staring down Steve when Quincy stated in a firm voice, “Steve! He’s telling the truth. I just got off the phone with the hospital. He was there at 6:30; they even have it on video.”
Steve knew he was wrong, but he turned around and stared Margi straight in the eye as he said, “You lucked out this time. It wasn’t you now but next time it will be, and I am going to personally hunt you down and throw your tired self in jail.”
Quincy was staring hard at Steve as he stated, “Let’s go Steve.” That’s what his mouth was saying but his eyes were saying “What were you thinking.”
Margi stammered a bit, “Before you guys go, one of my knifes was stolen last night after I left for the hospital. I took my nightly check the mother called and asked me to drive her to the hospital, when I got back it was gone.”
Quincy was interested, “Do you happen to have a picture of it on your person?”
Margi replied, “Actually I do, I grabbed it five minutes before you guys came, I have no idea why I thought I needed it.” Margi handed the picture to Quincy.
Quincy was shock and stated to his partner, “Steve, this is our murder weapons.” They looked each other straight in the eye and bolted out of the room. Right after Quincy left blood dripped down the walls, it read, See you soon, detective.
The two men sprinted into the woods, as they neared the site of the body Quincy noticed a small trail leading towards the body. Quincy felt the strange presence he had felt earlier and ran even faster. As they reached the body Quincy immediately noticed the axe and substance lying next to Jim.
Confused Quincy asked pointing towards the axe, “Was that there before Steve?”
Confused by the peculiar question Steve replied, “Of course it was, does it really matter?”
Quincy replied, “Actually it does Steve. See this?” He pointed to the substance covering the slick blade, “This isn’t blood.”
Steve was really confused now and asked, “Wait, Jim obviously struck his attacker with his blade, of course its blood.”
Quincy was shaking his head in disbelief, “Steve! You really need to go back to school buddy. This substance is blue, its plasma.
WOOSH! A dark figure rapidly circled the two men and stopped thirty feet before Quincy and stated in a raspy voice, “Well, well, well. What do we have here? An idiotic police chief and one of America’s finest.”
Quincy ordered in a deep commanding voice, “Reveal yourself!”
HAHAHAHAHAHA! “You know me Quincy; you know that I shall never have to reveal myself to the likes of you.”
Puzzled Quincy replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about demon!”
The creature replied, “Come on Quincy buddy. It’s only been sixteen years to the day; you can’t even recognize your own brother?”
Quincy took a deep stare into space.
Concerned Steve rapidly asked, “Quincy! You okay man? Speak to me Quincy!”
Quincy was perfectly fine; he was just in a state of shock. Quincy’s brother, John, died many years ago when he caught a stray bullet during a bank robbery in his security guard days. When Quincy visited John in the hospital the last sentence he spoke was, “I swear to you Quincy, on day I will return. I will return and I will make you solve the most puzzling murder of your entire police career.” John died after that last word. Two years later Quincy was promoted to America’s special unit and John was made an honorary Chief of Police to keep the memory of him alive. It was sixteen years to the day since John had died right in front of Quincy’s eyes on that hospital bed.
Both shocked and relieved to be with his little brother again he quietly asked, “John? Is it really you bro?”
“Yes, why yes it is Quincy. I have been watching over you since the day you were promoted. I just had to see you one last time” John replied.
“So you’re a…ghost?” Quincy asked still puzzled.
SIGH! “Yes, it’s true. This is the only possible way that I could come back to earth to see you one last time in person.” John replied.
Quincy asked, “So, is it a coincidence that you’re here at the murder site when I’m on the job?”
John replied, “No Quincy, not at all. I know you remember my last words to you, and I am sure this is the most puzzling case you will ever encounter during your career in law enforcement. I was true to my word bro. I spent two long years planning this murder when I wasn’t watching over you. I studied Jim’s lumberjacking, Molly jogging routes, Margi’s hostile behavior, and even Margi’s morning walk through the woods. The only thing that I had not accounted for was Margi’s mother had gotten sick the night before. It has been great seeing you again brother, but I really must be going now.” The ghost slowly approached and Quincy could see John’s face and he had a big gash across where his stomach would be if he was human, “Remember, I’ll always be with you.” John flew up into the sky and yelled down in a fading voice, “Always remember me Quincy.”
Softly Quincy replied, “I never forgot you John.”
Steve slowly approached Quincy and asked in a sincere voice, “You going to be okay Quincy?”
Quincy wiped a tear from his eye and replied, “Yeah, I’m going to be just fine.” After a quick pause he stated, “I guess that solves the case,” He turned and stared deeply into the direction that John flew off to and another tear came into his eye, “The Case of the Un-Solvable Murder.”

Wow, I'm impressed with your writing ability, Zimmy! Good job but um, who killed Jim - was it John?
I have always wanted to write.

amazing :)

Nice one Zimmeh. ^_^

5/5, well done :)

that was mint :D liking the use of onomatopoeia.

4/5
Its good, just not amazing.

Thanks peoples, I didn't expect to get this many good votes. And also it was indented but the form deleted all my indentations and I don't have the paintence to do all of that